Challenged

The words don’t come easily. The press misrepresents PTSD. Yes, most likely, injection of the acronym PTSD immediately reduces a reader’s opinion of my credibility.

Yes, some stimuli that evoke nothing in others may trigger a flashback, a distracting backscape of the mind. A flashback typically does not engulf a person. Instead, it distracts, it disturbs concentration, it mildly reduces a day’s productivity.

Most of all the trigger creates anxiety, an overabundance of adrenalin that has no opportunity for metabolisation. The stress settles in the stomach, like a pit of stone, like a still-born child never delivered. One wants to flee, but there is no place to run. Each carries her own cross.

Long workdays drain the spirits. Nightmares may return, but mostly the brain protects itself, with less noxious sleep manifestations. But the sleep does not refresh.

Patience fades as resurrected memories furrow my brow and fear again is palpable.