Happy Hallowe’en!

The dreadful matter with the trusts and my manipulative, destructive siblings drags on. But I took one big step forward for Survivors  -- a step toward closure. I had imagined closure would only be sure upon the sisters' deaths, but I discovered inner resources to insist on and arrange for final closure with the closing … Continue reading Happy Hallowe’en!



Distractedly, lazily, I flip through the Gmail folders. The one of email sent to my sisters. And ignored. Or at least unanswered. If I had kept all those for my lifetime, the unanswered ones, I wonder how many times I could circle the earth if I printed them out and laid them end to end. … Continue reading Musings

Time ticks on . . .

A military logistics expert once stated "Luck is just failed preparation." Clearly the last two years have proved abundantly lucky. Yes, I knew my parents likely would predecease me, but I had no idea how the very framework of my world would rock. Yes, I had always intended to lose contact with my siblings, but … Continue reading Time ticks on . . .

Baby boomer baby sister

The third daughter of three, all three years apart. The last-ditch failed effort at producing an heir, the last year of the Baby Boomers, 1964. They were already a close-knit dysfunctional suburban family before I entered the scene. Vulnerable, always either 3 or 6 years behind in verbal and conceptual abilities, my siblings loved me … Continue reading Baby boomer baby sister

Stillness & a Teddy Bear

For decades, monthly, with onset of the fatigue of PMS breaking through an over-scheduled life, the image of a balding mohair teddy bear haunted me. The image leapt from God knows where. Blood streamed from the teddy bear. I never could entirely block the sight out from the backscape of my mind. I knew it … Continue reading Stillness & a Teddy Bear


The words don't come easily. The press misrepresents PTSD. Yes, most likely, injection of the acronym PTSD immediately reduces a reader's opinion of my credibility. Yes, some stimuli that evoke nothing in others may trigger a flashback, a distracting backscape of the mind. A flashback typically does not engulf a person. Instead, it distracts, it … Continue reading Challenged

Perspectives on perception

Forgive me, my friends-- creative folk make allegory chatting with Muses of yore. So, I too tonight, sheltering beneath their cloaks -- wishing this task less ugly, distasteful -- pay heed to the tunes Dreamweaver Muses intone. Fiction and poetry-- like Islam's shadow theater, sole allowed dramatic form, where the play of shadow and flickering … Continue reading Perspectives on perception