The dreadful matter with the trusts and my manipulative, destructive siblings drags on. But I took one big step forward for Survivors -- a step toward closure. I had imagined closure would only be sure upon the sisters' deaths, but I discovered inner resources to insist on and arrange for final closure with the closing … Continue reading Happy Hallowe’en!
That we are individuals with eyes only in our own heads provisioned only with fingers and feelings that feed into our unique brains makes us all initially egocentric. With time and talent, reflection and education, we can and do develop abilities moreso to view our circumstances "objectively". So I keep mulling over the rift with … Continue reading Life happens like that
Distractedly, lazily, I flip through the Gmail folders. The one of email sent to my sisters. And ignored. Or at least unanswered. If I had kept all those for my lifetime, the unanswered ones, I wonder how many times I could circle the earth if I printed them out and laid them end to end. … Continue reading Musings
A military logistics expert once stated "Luck is just failed preparation." Clearly the last two years have proved abundantly lucky. Yes, I knew my parents likely would predecease me, but I had no idea how the very framework of my world would rock. Yes, I had always intended to lose contact with my siblings, but … Continue reading Time ticks on . . .
The third daughter of three, all three years apart. The last-ditch failed effort at producing an heir, the last year of the Baby Boomers, 1964. They were already a close-knit dysfunctional suburban family before I entered the scene. Vulnerable, always either 3 or 6 years behind in verbal and conceptual abilities, my siblings loved me … Continue reading Baby boomer baby sister
For decades, monthly, with onset of the fatigue of PMS breaking through an over-scheduled life, the image of a balding mohair teddy bear haunted me. The image leapt from God knows where. Blood streamed from the teddy bear. I never could entirely block the sight out from the backscape of my mind. I knew it … Continue reading Stillness & a Teddy Bear
The words don't come easily. The press misrepresents PTSD. Yes, most likely, injection of the acronym PTSD immediately reduces a reader's opinion of my credibility. Yes, some stimuli that evoke nothing in others may trigger a flashback, a distracting backscape of the mind. A flashback typically does not engulf a person. Instead, it distracts, it … Continue reading Challenged